I found this letter in a book I checked out from the Library. I must be real, it was in a book called the The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History, an incredibly accurate book. It is from our 11th President James Knox Polk (1795-1849) who served from 1845-1849 to our 3rd President Thomas (1743-1826) who served from 1801-1809. ENJOY!!!
To My Dearest Mr. President Thomas Jefferson,
I was very impressed by your envoy to France lead by James Monroe. It was very bold of you to offer the French up to $10 million for control of the Mississippi. As I understand the deal was worked out by Mr. Monroe and Mr. Robert Livingston.1 It is admirable that on April 30, 1803, you increased the country's size by 828,000 square miles, enough for almost 13 states1 by signing their treaty. The price was very agreeable at $15 million,1 less then $.04 an acre. 3
I understand it is not your concern or doing but I do have some issue with the enormous amount of credit you get for signing Mr. Monroe and Mr. Livingston's agreement with Napoleon, I ONLY increased the size of the country more then 1,000,000 square miles. 4 What credit do I get? I also paid $15 mill to the Mexicans for Texas, California, and New Mexico 4...So, I did have to fight a war against the Mexicans to get that deal done, but, the British fought the French and the Haitians had a rebellion to grease Napoleon's wheels for you. Some may say the Mexican-American War was aggression or imperialism, but some say it was just a very effective training session for the Civil War that boiled over shortly after my presidency. By the way your generation did put that pot on the stove to boil by not addressing slavery.
President James Knox Polk
P.S. The Senate passed your treaty 26 to 6. What were those 6 jerks thinking of?
P.P.S ONE MILLION SQUARE ACRES!!! SUCK IT JEFFERSON!
I am sure the Library of Congress will confirm this letter as real soon.